Not just a few measly dollars but………….millions – $US21.5 million to be exact. I’m already getting nervous thinking about all those noughts. I don’t wish to brag – some people deserve to be lucky in life.
I opened my email inbox this morning and nearly chocked on my coffee – Douglas Nurudeen wrote “My dear Friend”. Wow, how caring is that for an opening line. Douglas is a very fine Barrister living in Nigeria.
Apparently a long lost relative of mine died. He was a shipping magnate and unbelievably, a multi-millionaire. I understand the poor man passed away some time in 2007 – I’m not exactly sure why it has taken so long to contact me; I am in the telephone book after all. But then that’s the legal fraternity for you.
Try as I might, I can’t place the deceased. Douglas described him as an elderly Nigerian man – surely he would have been black? Okay, so maybe I do have a wheaten complexion and greyish blonde hair, but then stranger things have happened and Dad was all over the place during the War, so who knows? Douglas has my email address so it must be kosher. I’ve decided not to mention anything to Mum just to be on the safe side.
$US21.5million – I’ll have to give some to the family of course. Well, not that greedy cousin of mine for sure. Maybe we should update the car and replace the washing machine. Hmmm –we could treat ourselves to a holiday somewhere warm and tropical.
Douglas asked me to complete the paperwork – I am to email a copy of my Passport, Driver’s License, and daytime telephone number. Obviously, I will send my bank account details and password on personal letterhead. Douglas will forward my details to the Eco-Bank in Lagos and within fourteen days, I’ll have the money in my bank account. And then its party time! I just can’t believe how lucky I am. I’ll let you know the date of the party and no guesses as to who’s paying?
It’s now day 11. Douglas assures me the money is being transferred through the realm of cyber banking as we speak. He has also been gracious enough to invite me to spend next Christmas with his lovely wife and family.
I must remember to look up my horoscope. Lucky Jupiter or some other planet must be colliding with Libra this month – I’ve received a beautiful email from Pualina Benito. Sadly, Pualina is fading fast – shuffling off this mortal coil and yet her last wish is to help the orphans of the world. How can a girl resist her offer to assist?
Dear friend,
I am Mrs Pualina Benito. and i have been surffering from ovarian cancer disease and the doctor says that i have just two days to leave.I am from (Malaga) Spain but based in Africa Burkina Faso since eight years ago as business woman dealing with gold exportation.Now that i am about to end the race like this,without any family members and no child.I have 3 Million US DOLLARS in Africa Development Bank (ADB) Burkina Faso which i instructed the bank to give St Andrews Missionary Home in Burkina Faso.But my mind is not at rest because i am writting this letter now through the help of my computer beside my sick bed.
I also have 4.5Million US Dollars at Ecobank here in Burkina Faso and i instructed the bank to transfer the money to the first foreigner that will apply to the bank after i have gone that they should release the fund to him/her,but you will assure me that you will take 50% of the money and give 50% to the orphanages home in your country for my heart to rest.You are to contact the bank through this email address: ecobank.bf@bk.ru
Yours fairly friend, Madam Pualina Benito.
The email brought tears to my eyes – someone has to help this poor woman in chronic pain with no family. She is a true Samaritan. It is rather sad Pualina won’t have time to take those advanced English lessons.
I’m seriously considering utilising some of my millions to help a fellow Kiwi who emailed me last night. The situation is terrible.
Subject: Urgent Help from all Kiwi’s
I’m sorry for this odd request because it might get to you too urgent but it’s because of the situation of things right now,We are stuck in london right now,we came down here on vacation ,we were robbed, worse of it is that bags, cash and cards and cell phone were stolen at GUN POINT, it’s such a crazy experience for us, we need help flying back home, the authorities are not being 100% supportive but the good thing is that we still have our passport but dont have enough money to get our flight ticket back home, please i need you to loan me some money, i will refund you as soon as i’m back home, I PROMISE
Well, dear friends, check out this space over the next couple of days – time and details of the shindig to be posted as soon as I receive that email from Douglas!
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